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Down the Dark Path Home of author and artist, J Edward Neill

50 Things I Really Worry About

March 14, 2018 | humor, Life | Permalink

I’m not a person who worries about much of anything.

After all, worrying helps nothing. It only adds to one’s suffering.

And yet…here’s fifty things that concern me almost every single day:


I sometimes wonder whether I’m spending enough time with my son.

…or whether I’m actually the helicopter dad I try so hard not to be.

I worry I don’t read enough.

…that I don’t home cook my dinners more often.

…and that I sip too much wine.

I’m pretty sure my cats are at home destroying my furniture right now.

…the fat one probably barfed on the floor again.

I wonder if I’ll end up single, alone, and locked away in a big empty house by myself.

…and yet it concerns me that the idea of being alone is so very appealing.

I’m sure I’ll suffer from ’empty-nest syndrome’ when my son grows up.

And I’m positive I’ll struggle with an existential crisis when it happens.

I worry I’ve outlived my usefulness.

…except to scotch distilleries. I keep those guys in business.

I’m concerned I wasted my youth in the pursuit of pleasure.

…and yet if I were young again, I know I’d do the same things all over again.

I worry I don’t tip well enough. Even 20% feels low sometimes.

I sometimes worry that I don’t worry enough. Is being indifferent the truest form of immorality?

…and if it is, I should probably worry that it still doesn’t much matter to me.

I sometimes suffer from FOMO. (Fear of missing out) I want to do everything and be everywhere.

I’m concerned I chase Friday at the expense of Monday through Thursday.

And I’m really concerned about the huge pile of pancakes I devoured on Sunday.

I worry that it’s all meaningless.

But I push myself harder every day, and for what?

I’m not tall enough.

…or buff enough.

…or able to do all the athletic things I could do just five years ago.

And I worry sometimes these facts make me less of a man.

I worry that I’m smart enough to understand most of the world’s problems…

…but not nearly intelligent enough to solve them.

I worry about the 3,000 calorie steak dinner I ate last night.

…and the just-as-huge spaghetti platter I plan to cook tomorrow.

If I blow off being creative in favor of playing video games, I worry I’ve wasted a precious night.

But when I spend a whole week working myself to the bone creating, I sometimes think I’m missing the point.

I’m concerned about my quiet urge to sell my house and leave all my possessions behind.

But I’m more concerned about having to give up my grill if I leave, which means I’m probably staying.

I worry I don’t spend enough time writing.

…or am I writing too much, and thus falling out of touch with reality?

I definitely spend too much time thinking about money.

And too much time spending it.

And not enough time saving it.

I fear for my eardrums. All that heavy metal can’t be good.

I worry for my guitar, which I haven’t played in weeks.

…and my wardrobe, which I haven’t improved in years.

And of course, I worry about my stupid blind cat. She’s 18, and it’s only a matter of time before she becomes incontinent.

…which means I’m worried about my floors.

I’m not really worried about politics or religion or people fighting about it on the internet.

But I do wonder whether someday a lunatic who does worry about these things will end up killing me.

I’m mega worried about my son turning out to be too much like me.

Or that he’ll end up liking country music.

Please.

Anything but country music.


If you like lists about 50 things, try this one.

And if my worries have you thinking, get some of this.

J Edward Neill

2 Atlanta Art Shows you Need to See

February 22, 2018 | Art!, Life | Permalink

Hi there everyone.

This summer, I’ll be featuring original paintings by myself and Tahina Morrison at two amazing events in Atlanta.

These will be our first public art shows ever. We’ll be revealing several of our darkest, sexiest, and wildest pieces yet.

The date you need to remember – July 13th

Two art shows you should commit to memory – Atlanta Pancakes & Booze Art Show / Chocolate & Art Show Atlanta

Pancakes & Booze – Friday, July 13th


We’ll have a featured gallery and prints at each show.

You’ll probably see something along the lines of…


We really hope to see you! If for no other reason than free pancakes and conversation.

For updates, follow me on Facebook.

Get into our art here.

J Edward Neill

 

Are you an author in need of cover art? Look no further.

February 8, 2018 | Art!, Books!, Fantasy, Horror | Permalink

For the modern day self-published author, cover art can be an expensive investment. Artists routinely charge $300-$700 for custom-made art, which can cripple modest budgets and drive authors to empty out their bank accounts.

And yet…

Every book needs a good cover. To hook readers, it’s crucial. The old saying ‘Never judge a book by its cover’ doesn’t apply anymore. And while Amazon and Createspace offer free images for cover use, their options are bland, static, and in many cases already in use by a dozen other authors.

I can help.

If you’ve written a fantasy, horror, sci-fi, or general fiction book, and if you’re in need of art that won’t cost you an arm and a leg, you and I should talk. I’m now licensing the art from several of my most popular paintings to be used as book, album, or media cover art. My fees are well below industry standard. I provide hi-rez digital images that’ll easily satisfy KDP, Lightning Source, and Createspace requirements.

Interested?

Some of my paintings are here. And that’s just a hint of the large quantity of cover-ready art I’ve produced. See a piece you like that might fit your book or album cover? Look me up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or via email.

Let’s talk.

And let’s get your cover made.

7 Questions Guaranteed to Start a Fight Among Friends

February 6, 2018 | Culture, Philosophy, politics, Satire | Permalink

Take these to your next family gathering.

Or to the bar.

Or to lunch with friends.

I dare you.

7 Questions to Start a Fight Among Friends


Awesome! Malevolent! Superfluous!

Preferably in the company of at least one other person, use exactly three words to describe the current Congress (or Parliament) which exists in your country.

*

Up a Creek…

 There’s been a terrible war overseas.

Your nation isn’t directly involved.

But…

Two-hundred thousand refugees have fled this war.

They speak no English.

Their skill sets are unknown.

They need a place to live, or else most of them will die of starvation and disease.

What percentage of these refugees would you invite to live in your nation?

*

Simplicity

In ten words or fewer, state what you want your government to do for you.

*

The Right to Arm Bears

 You’ve been selected by your government to create a brand-new modern-day Bill of Rights.

In this bill, you’ll decide what basic rights are legally granted to each and every citizen of your nation.

What are the first three items you’ll add to the bill?

*

Juggle Three Flags while Kissing a Baby

 List the top five things every potential immigrant should have to know or do in order to be granted full citizenship in your nation.

*

Word Smack

 For each of the items below, say the first word that comes to your mind upon reading it:

Libtard

Fake News

Republitard

Snowflake

Communist

Leftist

Nazi

White Power

Black Lives Matter

*

The Wage Gauge

 The national minimum-wage for full-time workers should be:

$ ______________

*


If you feel like arguing even more, go here.

If you prefer to keep the peace, go here.

UnCommon Evil – A Dark Anthology

February 2, 2018 | Art!, Books!, Horror, Short Stories | Permalink

In the old world city of Ellerae, one person goes missing every day.
Poor little Mia doesn’t stand a chance.
Or does she?

Let the Bodies – A creepy short story follow-up to chilling tale, Old Man of Tessera.

Let the Bodies will appear in anthology book UnCommon Evil – Release date Feb 20th, 2018.

Preorder Uncommon Evil right here.