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Down the Dark Path Home of author and artist, J Edward Neill

Category Archives: humor

New Coffee Table Book – 101 Questions for Single Parents!

July 31, 2018 | Books!, humor, Life | Permalink

This book is for you if… …you’re a sleep-deprived single mom who can name at least 50 Pokémon but can’t keep your kids’ names straight or remember where you parked your car at the grocery store. …you’re a single father who sits in a morning work meeting, waiting to give a monthly report presentation, when […]

Why I Won’t Do Commissioned Art

April 25, 2018 | Art!, humor, Life | Permalink

“Can you paint a portrait of me, but as a sexy, armor-wearing warrior queen? And thirty lbs. lighter?” No. And you mean forty-five lbs. “Can you paint my dog? He’s really cute. Look how his tongue hangs out the left side of his mouth. I really want to capture him in a painting.” No. Your dog […]

50 Things I Really Worry About

March 14, 2018 | humor, Life | Permalink

I’m not a person who worries about much of anything. After all, worrying helps nothing. It only adds to one’s suffering. And yet…here’s fifty things that concern me almost every single day: I sometimes wonder whether I’m spending enough time with my son. …or whether I’m actually the helicopter dad I try so hard not to […]

101 Ways to Fight About Politics

January 30, 2018 | humor, Philosophy, politics, Satire | Permalink

Who wants to debate politics??? With this easy (and inflammatory) guide, friends, frenemies, and partisan warriors can leap right into a modern political argument. Includes 101 prompts on everything from social welfare, military spending, feminism, racism, and much more. Start your argument today! Ten sample questions are right here.

101 MORE Reasons to Break Up

November 20, 2017 | Books!, humor, Love & Relationships, Relationships | Permalink

Oops, I did it again. Over six weeks during a rainy autumn, I collected hundreds of break-up stories from friends, strangers, Facebook pals, random people on Twitter & Instagram, and several tipsy folks at the local bar. And then…just because…I cleaned the stories up and put them into this book: Every story is true. Some […]

Questions for the Everyday Philosopher

November 8, 2017 | humor, Life, Philosophy | Permalink

This is a series of articles collectively titled A Thought for Every Thursday. Each one contains quick, light questions about modern morality, simple philosophy, and human relationships. Here. Get some…   *** The Thought for Every Thursday series is inspired by the Coffee Table Philosophy series of books, which can be browsed here.

Making Fun of Everything I’ve Ever Done

November 1, 2017 | Books!, Coffee Table Philosophy, Hollow Empire, humor, Machina Obscurum, Tyrants of the Dead | Permalink

A few weeks ago I got super sarcastic with my list of alternative movie blurbs. Now that I’ve made fun of everyone else’s artistic work, it’s time I turn the cannon on myself. Here’s everything I’ve ever written, but with smartass descriptions. Have fun… Hollow Empire – Night of Knives – Five homeless people with crappy hygiene do their best to […]

101 Reasons to Break Up

October 12, 2017 | Books!, humor, Life, Relationships | Permalink

During a blazing hot summer, I interviewed nearly four-hundred people. At bars, on the street, via Facebook. I took their 101 funniest, weirdest, and most off-the-wall break-up stories… …and slammed them all into this book: 101 Reasons to Break Up Read it. Laugh at it. Review the hell out of it. Here’s nine sample break-ups. […]

101 Reasons to Break Up

September 5, 2017 | Books!, Coffee Table Philosophy, humor | Permalink

In this unique take on dating and relationships, dozens of real-life strangers sit down for interviews, and all of them provide the true-life tales of their craziest, most unusual break-ups. Every break-up is REAL, and each one is more bizarre than the one before. You think your break-ups have been wild? Think again. Here’s 101 […]

The Starving Artist and His Kid

August 16, 2017 | Art!, humor, Life | Permalink

I wouldn’t have it any other way. With that said, single dad art-making ain’t always easy. Almost six years ago, my son (the G Man) burst into my life. He was the Kool-Aid Man breaking through the brick wall of me. Upon his arrival, I prepared myself for sleepless nights, hours upon hours of crying, and the end of all […]

100 things you should probably think about

April 27, 2017 | humor, Life, Satire | Permalink

I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin’. * * * 100 Things You Should Probably Think About A rare compliment is better than everyday flattery. Don’t fistfight the person who cuts you off in traffic. Fight the one who says you can’t do something. And fight them with your mind, not your hands. Patience is a virtue, but sometimes […]

How to Date an Artist

April 13, 2017 | Art!, humor | Permalink

…Tips for Dating Artists… A completely unscientific exploration of the perils of sleeping with art junkies. * #1. Consider dating someone else. As in, someone who might love you more than they love blank slabs of canvas and empty sheets of paper. 🙂 #2. When planning dates, dinners, or long nights on the couch watching Netflix, consider […]

Ten questions to ask your tipsy friends

December 6, 2016 | Coffee Table Philosophy, humor, Life | Permalink

It’s late. You’ve had a few adult beverages. You’re with a few friends. Or maybe you’re alone. It’s time to break out ten questions you might not ask if you were sober. * * * Let’s Get Physical  Assuming one-on-one combat, what percentage of the world’s population could you handle in a fight? * Unshackle […]

The Ultimate Get to Know Someone Quiz!

November 21, 2016 | Books!, Coffee Table Philosophy, humor | Permalink

Available now… The very first book with cover art straight from the paintbrush of my five-year old son. (That’s actually true ^^^) The Ultimate Get to Know Someone Quiz It’s the most entertainment you can squeeze into 101 pages. Pass it around to friends and family. Bring a copy to your breakroom at work. Crash […]

Why I’m still convinced #NothingMatters

October 20, 2016 | Culture, humor, Life, Non Fiction | Permalink

It’s funny the things we decide to care about. It’s curious the flow of socio-political liquid through the masses. Do you ever wonder if, a thousand years ago, the hashtag causes would’ve been #SanitationMatters, #PeasantsMatter, or #ArrowsDon’tKill but #ArchersDo? During World War II, if Twitter had existed, the Allies’ causes would’ve been obvious (Sadly the Axis’s would’ve been, too.) But […]

Fifty easy ways to live slightly off-the-grid

September 28, 2016 | humor, Life, Love & Relationships | Permalink

I’m not sayin’… …but I might be sayin‘. * * * At bars and restaurants, consider being the best tipper around. Selfie sticks should be used to start swordfights, not to take actual selfies with. Stairs should be embraced, not avoided. And whenever possible, take them two at a time. The first pancake is usually the worst. Give […]

The Ultimate Bucket List (Updated)

July 29, 2016 | humor, Life | Permalink

Ages ago, I published my personal mega-bucket list. It included 50 things I wanted to do before I die. Some were realistic. Others…not so much. So here we are, centuries (ok, only 18 months) removed. I’ve completed a few of my self-challenges and completely whiffed on many more. Here’s my bucket update: * * * 50 Hard-as-Hell Bucket […]